Just a random entry for our Monster this week. No demon of the month. No “World Snake Day” tie-in (and that’s July 16th anyway). Nope–this time, it’s absolutely, totally, completely and wonderfully random.
Please do so responsibly—and let me know! I want to see what y’all get up to.
IYKYK.
For a caption-free image of the Guivre, click here.
Origins of the Guivre
Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to uncover any specific information about where the guivre legend came from. Indeed, it appears that the guivre is merely the French equivalent of your basic dragon myth.
The guivre (which is French for “wurm”) lives in the mountainous regions of the country, residing mostly in deep pools, underground caves, or the occasional ruined castle, where they protect vast hordes of treasure While reports vary on some of the cosmetic details, such as the number of legs (zero vs. two front limbs), horns on their head or spikes on their tails, everyone agrees that they are large, wingless, and serpentine.
FUN FACT: Some people believe that the Loch Ness Monster could be a lost guivre!
All this seems pretty straightforward until you factor in the conflation between the guivre and the vouivre (French for “viper,”) which is a similar but altogether unique creature: winged, fiery, and almost exclusively female.
I suspect the reason for the conflation is their shared habitat and genology–they are both descendants of Melusine, the mermaid-like water goddess of French folklore. Consequently, it’s increasingly common to see vouivre portrayed as nymphlike seductresses rather than snakelike beasts. She wears a crown as well as a ruby that functions like an eye to guide her while she’s in flight.
Powers and Abilities
While there’s clearly some mythological crossbreeding happening between these two creature types, rest assured that a pure guivre is the vouivre’s awkward, much less sexy relative. So, when it comes to their abilities, I’m going to try my best to divide these serpent sisters (or cousins, or whatever) along clear lines.
The guivre’s biggest asset is its huge size and it’s extreme aggression. It may also have venomous breath, but I’m inclined to mark that up for the vouivre given that it’s named after a poisonous snake. As a wurm, the guivre uses its size, its rage, and its natural weapons to defend its home from anyone who wishes to steal its gold or do it harm.
As far as the vouivre goes, in addition to the standard claws-and-teeth combo for rending and slashing, her seductive nature can help lure men away from her treasure horde and (most likely) to their doom. One source claims they are also “covered in fire,” but given their aquatic living conditions, I’m not sure how that can possibly be true.
Defeating the Guivre (or Vouivre)
To recap: Guivre are gigantic, furious monsters that would nothing more than to rip you apart. What does one puny human have that could possibly overcome all that?
This is where the guivre take a sharp left away from the traditional dragon mythos, and it by far my favorite thing about them: Guivres are deeply ashamed of the naked human figure. When confronted with a person in the all-together, they will blush and look away. They won’t die of embarrassment, but it might give you enough time to escape. Just make sure to grab a towel or a leaf or something on the way out.
When it comes to the vouivre, there are a few ways you can try to slay it–with the emphasis on try:
- Twice a year, around the Easter and Christmas holidays, a vouivre will leave its dwelling to bath in a nearby spring, during which time it will remove its ruby eye and leave it on the banks. If you can retrieve the eye, you can not only slay the dragon while it is blind and vulnerable, but you can also steal its wealth. Win-win. For you, anyway.
- If you can retrieve an item the vouivre values, put the item in a spiked barrel and wait for the dragon to climb in and retrieve it. Seal the creature inside, and its panicked thrashing should take care of the rest. Some people have had success with this. Most have not. My question would be: WHY are you luring this dragon out of its mountain dwelling in the first place? You might want to think about that before you start building what is essentially an iron maiden to murder an innocent animal.
So, there you have it. Everything you need to know about the guivre. Amazing no one has written them into a fantasy novel yet, am I right?
Apropos of nothing…Death by Miss Adventure # 2: Death in the Desert is now available in ebook and paperback. See My Books page for more info.
Happy Monday, monsters!
