Before you ask: I have no idea what that cross-looking letter is. No, I have no idea how to pronounce it. And yes, I am definitely cutting and pasting the entirety of “Hafmaður the Sea Man” every time I need to use it in this article because I don’t know where in the WordPress glyph menu I would even begin to look for that thing.
That is what you were going to ask, right?
This is the second of four articles in the Icelandic sea monster mini-series.
For my usage policy on generative AI, click here.
Hafmaður the Sea Man: Origin and Appearance
In terms of pop culture, merfolk often appearance as an extremely attractive race. Indeed, mermaids are somewhat infamous for using their beauty and wiles to trick sailors into crashing on the rocks. While reports of male merfolk aren’t nearly as common, reason dictates they would hold the same allure as their female counters.
Allow me to shatter that illusion forever.
Eye witnesses report Hafmaður the Sea Man to stand over two meters tall (that’s about 6 feet for all us ‘Muricans) when it stands on its hind legs. No fish tail for this guy, I’m afraid. And it only gets worse from here. His legs are long, but his arms are short, stubby things that end in vicious claws. He’s got a saggy gut and (I’m quoting here) “larvae-like skin,” meaning white and translucent. His face is defined by two wide, gaping eyes and a mouthful of sharp-ass teeth.
Sorry. But I did warn you.
As far as origins of Hafmaður the Sea Man, I haven’t been able to find a record of any initial sighting that is specific to Iceland. As this is an island nation in the northern climes, it’s probably safe to assume that Hafmaður’s origin story is on par with the origins of similar Nordic creatures, and indeed creatures from most seafaring mythologies: pirate madness. Which is totally a thing, probably. Think about: you’re stuck on a boat, no land in sight, staring at the same twenty grizzled, stinky, obnoxious dudes for months at a time. Your mind is going to slip a little, and you’re probably going to start seeing things. However, while other cultures chose to hallucinate visions of hot women, Icelanders just manifested more sloppy, disgusting dudes.
Sometimes, I worry about Iceland. I really do.
Powers and Abilities
Hafmaður’s main power ties to the biggest fear of most sailors: storms. To see a Sea Man in the ocean portends a storm, or possibly death.
Though Sea Men live in water, some claim they actually prefer to be on land. In fact, they will flee to the shore if they sense danger, either from a tempest or an enemy, and will remain their under the threat has passed. However, like their counterpart Fjörulalli the Shore Laddie, they are reclusive and will avoid loud noises and crowds.
That being said, they seem to have a bit of an impish streak as well, occasionally breaking into nearby beach homes and stealing small trinkets to play with.
They also may be cannibals. However, the source doesn’t specify whether that means “maneaters” or “Sea Man eaters,” so it’s hard to know just how afraid we need to be about that.
Defeating Hafmaður the Sea Man
Avoidance
As always, the most straightforward solution is to simply not go to the beach. If you must go, make sure you are in a group, and try not to stay past dark.
Make Some Noise
If you do happen to encounter Hafmaður the Sea Man, loud noises are the quickest way to drive him back into the sea. Whatever you do, do not harass or attack him, as it is said to be bad luck.
Smash or Shoot (But Only Silver)
If this particular Sea Man does get feisty, you can try hitting him with something heavy as that seems to be the most efficient way of incapacitating one of these creatures. Silver bullets also work, but don’t try shooting him with anything else as they seem to be resistant to projectiles.
And finally–because I do feel a little bad about destroying your dearly held belief in sexy mermen, here’s a link to the website of real men wearing mermaid tails, looking fabulous, and living their best lives. You’re welcome.
Happy Monday, Mer-monsters!
